📘 NRI Confessions

Please post this. Pichi lestundi past few months ga. Judge all you want but atleast few helpful comments/suggestions ostai ani hope. Sorry for the long post. Story koncham long ga untundi as it's 7 years of my life. Nenu US ki 2017 lo ocha to a college in texas. My family in India is well settled and so I didnt had to work at all to support myself. I was 24(F) then and introvert ni. College lo oka classmate telugu abbai starting lo chala help chesadu to settle and adjust. Over the next few months, we grew closer and then he proposed. Ma nanna chala orthodox and paruvu kosam bathike person. Ivanni explain chesa tanaki and he said he will talk to my father and will take care of everything. So tana proposal accept chesa. Chala sarlu kiss or hug ani force chesevadu but naku istam undedi kadu. He used to get upset but was understanding still. We only hugged 3 or 4 times in our relationship.

Ma 1 year relationship lo tanani financial ga chala support kuda chesa (almost 15k). Once graduate ayaka naku vere state lo job ochindi through a consultancy. Lucky ga office colleagues kontha mandi ammaila thone room share lo untunde. Kotha job lo join aina kuda tanaki monthly money vestu undedanni. After few months I came to know that he is in relationship with someone else in texas and na money use cheskoni vallu akada enjoy chestunarani. When I confronted him,he said he needs a physical commitment. Chala depress aipoina. 1 week office ki leave petti intlone edustu undedanni. Suicidal thoughts ochi hands kuda koskune time ki roommate chusi apesindi. Inka 10 days tarvatha office ki vella apudu vere team lo oka telugu athanu (Ram) ochi random ga matladatam start chesadu. Chudataniki chala normal ga untadu. Almost daily desk dagarki 4-5 times ochi random ga matladevadu.
Slowly I used to feel comfortable with him around and we used to hangout after work. Tana personal life details chala takkuva share chesevadu. He used to talk about random stuff or ask me about my life. He iS a TFI banisa type person and loves Chiranjeevi. Aa time lo US lo release aina almost every telugu movie ki teskelladu. He got me out of my depression and I opened up a lot to him. He even made me say telugu curse words as a joke. Tanu parichayam aina 3 months lo okasari kuda flirt cheyala or misbehave cheyala. I liked his character alot and one fine evening propose chesa. He rejected saying tanu nannu friend lagane chustuna ani and said he is trying to get me out of suicidal thoughts. Naku vadu chesindi friendship kadu natho edo gali tho charity laga anipinchindi. Ventane tittesi block chesi matldatam apesa. He tried talking to me in office but nenu complete ga ignore chesedanni.
Around that time I came to know that he already has a girlfriend. Out of desperation, I asked him if he is ready to leave her and enter into relationship with me ani. He got angry and seriously said no. Apatinundi he stopped talking with me. We became strangers again. After a month or so he went on a week trip to his girlfriend's place. Same time lo ma father marriage proposal testhe kopam lo accept chesesa. 1 month lo India ki velli marriage cheskoni complete ga husband city ki shift ayanu. ila kopam tho marriage cheskotam entha tappo telisindi. Edo paruvu kosam chesina marriage lo happiness undadu ani artham aindi. Pelliki mundu 1 month matladina person ki and pelli aina tarvatha kapuram chestunna person ki asalu sambandam ledu. He is very controlling. Idaram office ki velli work chestunna sare house duties anni nene cheyali. Basic help kuda cheyadu.
I told him before marriage that I am an introvert and time padutundi to open up ani. Pelli ai USA ki ochina tarvatha it took a while for us to get physical. Kani tanaki ED undi. We tried multiple times but it was never hard enough to have s*x. Enni sarlu chepina sare doctor ni consult cheyaledu and moreover chala kopade vadu. Due to his ED, insecurity and trust issues ochai tanaki na paina. Na phone lo evartho chat chesina chustadu and calls oste speaker lone matladamantadu even with my parents. Na whatsappweb tana laptop lo signin chesi chustadu na chats anni. Naku unna social media apps anni tana phone lo sign chesi pettukunadu. Nenu 1$ spend chesina sare explanation ichukovali tanaki. Loveless and s*xless marriage valla couples laga kante rommates laga aipoindi life. Inka covid lo aithe evari life valladi laga undedi.

I felt like a maid who earns money for him and does all his chores. Ma parents ki emana chepali ani chusina sare em use ledu. Vallaki paruvu tappa nenu important kadu. Both families nanne adugutaru kids epudu ani. Emani chepali vallaki. Ela chepali. Inka na bathuku inthe ani fix aipoya.